THEY'RE STILL KILLING ME SOFTLY WITH GLEE SONGS: BLOODY RERUNS

Put some dead fish in a paper bag and wedge them between the hubcap of your neighbour’s truck! “Glee” fever has returned and they’re replaying it every night from the very first episode!!!

Those of you who frequent my Blogsite will already know my sentiments about the TV programme “Glee”. Yes, my 18 July Posting “Killing me softly with Glee songs” made that one perfectly clear.

And you know what? Most of you (well, at least the educated readers amongst you) agreed with that Post. I know this because of the fan mail I received in its aftermath – especially from Gym Teachers and Football Coaches.

Sure, some people who, let’s face it, aren’t really sophisticated or cultured enough to appreciate this Blog – let it be known that they thought I was being a “musically retarded Mormon!” with my comments (I’m guessing they actually meant ‘moron’ because most Mormons I know can handle a bit of a tune – and several wives…). But it is evident to me that the kind of people who actually have an intellectual entitlement to read this Blog agree when I say that “Glee” is just “God damned awful”.

Okay, so I know what you’re going to say next. Back in July my experience of “Glee” was unavoidable – I was guest at a friend’s house for dinner and had little control about my viewing situation. “But come on Jack, change the channel and get over it!”

Well I’d love to. My problem is that I entered into a new relationship this year and I’m still trying to impress my wonderful Lady with my sensitive ways. Yes, I know my readers appreciate them having read my many thoughtful and caring Posts, but when you’re face to face with a beautiful woman it’s an entirely different situation. I can only rely on my good looks and youthful physique for so long you know.

So right now I’m between a rock and a hard place – I have to sit with my Lady, hold her hand and say stuff like; “isn’t it sweet how they just bastardised that Beyonce song” [the one about the asshole sticking his ring on it] “and made American Football look like the gayest thing ever”. But in reality – I’d rather be in the workshop driving a four inch nail through the top of my foot so as to create an agonised scream capable of drowning out any Gleeafied musical number.  

Anyway, having endured a past relationship through 4 seasons of “Glee”, I find out my new Lady never saw the beginning of it. So every night is going to be “Glee” night from now on. And all I can think is that eventually they’re going to get to that killer episode where they do ‘GaGa’ and ‘Kiss’ on the same night – and you’ve already read how that affected me.

But it gets worse when I think about it. You see, the other thing that I actually do like to watch with my new Lady is reruns of “MASH”. We get them every night on the Comedy channel. And who doesn’t like “MASH”? I mean, it has got to be one of the most successfully repeated comedy series of all time. Like this is its umpteenth appearance on our TV screens. And you can bet your bottom dollar that we’ve seen every episode we watch at least twice before – but we still watch it, still laugh and still enjoy it.

But now you can see why this “Glee” thing has got me frazzled in such a fisherman’s stocking. Is this going to be the new ‘MASH’? I mean, there are similarities: the guy who likes to wear dresses, the blonde woman who acts like the anti-fun police, the bi-spectacled social reject whose one saving grace is that he’s good with technology and stuff…

…My God! It will be the new “MASH”!!!!

That means that for the next 20 years I’m going to be watching perpetual reruns of “Glee” – and then I’ll be due to get Alzheimer’s at which time I’ll probably start watching it again and think it’s my very first time…

…And then I’ll probably live well into my 90s so that I have to endure at least another five reruns after that…

It all sounds a bit fishy to me...

That’s what I think… and usually I’m right.